flashback

i'm still having flashbacks.  i woke up extra early on thursday for a 7am conference call with a director in prague and a storyboard artist in nyc.  i took the dogs out for a spin, then came inside and rolled up the blinds in the den.  that's when i saw him.  fresh off the bus, and stepping between a break in the brush cherries that line the chain link fence along the front of the property. the fat little man proceeded to drop trou (including his yellowed, oversized briefs) and squat to take a crap.  on our property.  in plain view.  i pushed the window open and started yelling, but he was unfazed.  then i ran outside in my robe, barking dogs following me, and confronted him.   i expected him to bolt, but he didn't even look at me and continued as calmly as if he were in his own bathroom.  if i was thinking more clearly, i would have turned the hose on him, or taken some incriminating snaps with my iphone (alas, i did neither).  the only thing i could do so early in the morning was to continue screaming at him, how he should be ashamed of himself, that i would call the police if i ever saw him here again, that he should go home and crap in his own yard.  this really takes the cake.  i'm more determined than ever to get a higher fence installed on the property line (which is nearly at the curb).  then there will be nowhere for people to crap, or piss, dump their shopping carts, or throw their trash.  in the meantime, i am hoping to catch him on another morning when i can get his picture and follow him home.  the nerve!

we live on the border.  this forgotten corner of los angeles has an identity crisis.  to the north, lies the disneyland that is santa clarita.  to the south, is the industrial wasteland of pacoima. to the east are the rugged mountains of the angeles national forest, and the western border is the golden state freeway.  not so long ago, this was an agricultural pocket populated by exclusively by white americans.  in the past 20 years, the demographic has shifted from majority white to majority latino, with nearly a quarter of residents here illegally.  this area has remained the bastard stepchild of l.a., lacking the basic city services enjoyed by the more affluent parts of the city.  our councilman doesn't even live in the district (ok, maybe on paper he does).  with a population topping 100,000, we have one fire station, but no hook and ladder.  last year, the city tried to take away funds for our sole emt unit.  much of the area has no sidewalks, and many have no city sewer hookup.  the city continues to approve zoning changes, pocketing the money from developers like kb homes without investing any of it back into our community.

before we moved here, our little neighborhood tried to secede from sylmar.  they erected a hideous granite and river rock monument to their dream - rancho cascades.  the marker still stands on the corner of our property, while the residents who built it have all moved out of the state.  the secession movement grew into a feud worthy of the hatfields and mccoys.  some yuppy homeowners moved in, and tried to join the local chamber of commerce.  they were met with a less than enthusiastic welcome by the old timers.  the older (white) members of the women's club turned their backs on the upstarts.  the newcomers continued to push their way in and tried to shake up the system, but the oldsters wouldn't budge and tried to shut them out.  eventually, the newcomers had the bright idea to split away, so they could have their own chamber and clubs.  what they didn't realize is that the city won't allow a split like this for an area as small as our neighborhood.  

now, we live in an area where the whir of police helicopters at night is nearly as common as the clip-clop of horses on the streets.  mariachi parties are a popular pastime on the weekends, so the lapd has thoughtfully designated a "party car" to address noise complaints (while denying us basic police services).   you'll see chickens running loose on the streets and "vaqueros" riding their horses while chatting on cell phones.  one thing you won't be seeing soon is that awful monument, which will hopefully be hidden behind a six foot fence within a few weeks.